We were shopping for a new door....not a cross. Not "needing" something to hang on the wall.....not shopping for a reminder of what Christ gave us. But there it was....an enormous cross, leaning against a wall...forgotten and not wanted. Sitting in the cold, against a wall...someone had ordered it and decided against it.
It was said to be "too big" and it was said something that would not "fit" with the decor. Too much.
A cross...not a crucifix...the symbol of our risen Christ. Almost as tall as I am, though I am shrinking, its still smaller than I am. Yet so heavy that one man has trouble lifting it, to mount on my wall. Which makes me know, in a visceral way, what our Lord must have done, in lifting and carrying it....makes me weep with the knowledge.
And it was no mistake, this cross. Which hangs on my wall...dominating the room and which needs to dominate my life. I am not always there, at this cross. But it is here. And I know it is supposed to be. Dominant in my life....here in front of me where I cannot ignore it, nor forsake it as He has never forsaken me. It's presence makes Him present in my life , every day. I cannot ignore it, which is how it should be.
He knew I would need this constant reminder, flaky, failing, flailing human that I am. I need Him and I need the sacrifice He gave otherwise there would be no me. Not as the person I should be, not as the person He wants me to be.
Scarlet letter stamped firmly on my head, I am washed clean and white in the blood of the Lamb.
Thank you Lord for letting me see this cross and having the grace to bring it into my home. Make me worthy Lord....however you see fit.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Too old fashioned for new toys...dangit
I was so excited about my new toys....a new way to vac/sweep and a new way to mop. Wow, exciting huh? Seriously, when you have been doing things the exact same way for 30+ years, new IS exciting!
I tried the Swifer sweeper/vac and apparently 4 poms are too much for it to handle. I used it on a small part of the floor, immediately filled up the dirt cup, overwhelmed the filter with dog hair and small unidentifible objects and trashed the cloth that swiffs. Sigh. OK, back to the broom , followed by the vacuum.
At least, I thought, steaming the floors will get them a cleaner clean than ever before in the past ( I'm thinking as I write this that maybe I watch too many commercials....). The cleaning pads get nasty and you have to wait to change them unless you want parboiled hands.....and I am not particularly patient. Bigger sigh. I steamed for all I was worth and then got the mop out. And yes, the water was filthy, meaning steamed or not, the dirt was still there.
I am not giving up on the new toys just yet....after all the house still bore the imprint (read detritus here) of the 20 family members who came for the holidays and it might have been too much to ask of these new fangled things.
I am pretty sure I didnt vacuum up any small children but it probably would be a good idea to do a head count if you visited here recently. Will be mailing out packages to each family with various socks, books, toys and hair clips. If I find money, I am keeping it.
I tried the Swifer sweeper/vac and apparently 4 poms are too much for it to handle. I used it on a small part of the floor, immediately filled up the dirt cup, overwhelmed the filter with dog hair and small unidentifible objects and trashed the cloth that swiffs. Sigh. OK, back to the broom , followed by the vacuum.
At least, I thought, steaming the floors will get them a cleaner clean than ever before in the past ( I'm thinking as I write this that maybe I watch too many commercials....). The cleaning pads get nasty and you have to wait to change them unless you want parboiled hands.....and I am not particularly patient. Bigger sigh. I steamed for all I was worth and then got the mop out. And yes, the water was filthy, meaning steamed or not, the dirt was still there.
I am not giving up on the new toys just yet....after all the house still bore the imprint (read detritus here) of the 20 family members who came for the holidays and it might have been too much to ask of these new fangled things.
I am pretty sure I didnt vacuum up any small children but it probably would be a good idea to do a head count if you visited here recently. Will be mailing out packages to each family with various socks, books, toys and hair clips. If I find money, I am keeping it.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Winter is definately here...
It's not like I didn't realize it before now, its just that there hasn't been prolonged super frigid weather like this. Two nights ago, or so the news said, it was -22 degrees. Even the dogs are less than thrilled with it. I don't understand how the birds survive ( they are well fed though: I make sure of that). But "bone-chilling" takes on a whole new meaning...a real thing not just an expression of speech.
Even though I am still pouring hot water down the drain in the bathroom ( I do love my shower....more than I thought!) the house finally seems secure. The new front door makes me feel so much safer, even if I can't see out the speak-easy window. It is solid...a small thing in the grand scheme but huge to me. There is no longer ice an inch thick on the inside of both french doors and the heat in the house, for the most part, is working well. Yayyyyy for being warm : )
It doesn't matter really, these small inconviences. They are petty when one considers the wonder and beauty of what He has created, that sits outside my windows. A blessing I am grateful for every day.
Amen.
Even though I am still pouring hot water down the drain in the bathroom ( I do love my shower....more than I thought!) the house finally seems secure. The new front door makes me feel so much safer, even if I can't see out the speak-easy window. It is solid...a small thing in the grand scheme but huge to me. There is no longer ice an inch thick on the inside of both french doors and the heat in the house, for the most part, is working well. Yayyyyy for being warm : )
It doesn't matter really, these small inconviences. They are petty when one considers the wonder and beauty of what He has created, that sits outside my windows. A blessing I am grateful for every day.
Amen.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Broken
After everyone's arrival there came times of breaking....breaking hearts with words, broken machines ( washing machines are very important with so many bodies around ) broken window seals, broken showers....ok not broken but frozen makes showers not work so ..broken. Relationships not formed, ready to break. Old relationships trying not to break....
Bodies not used to cold or altitude snarky and snotty. Fever and vomiting...vertigo and aching muscles.
A bad time ?
Not really. Still a time for bonding and loving. For mending and making.
And really, arent we all broken all of the time? With faults and fizzures....cracks and cervices. Broken but healed in Him.
Thank you Lord...for all of it.
Bodies not used to cold or altitude snarky and snotty. Fever and vomiting...vertigo and aching muscles.
A bad time ?
Not really. Still a time for bonding and loving. For mending and making.
And really, arent we all broken all of the time? With faults and fizzures....cracks and cervices. Broken but healed in Him.
Thank you Lord...for all of it.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
A Quiet Christmas it was not
John, Zack and I traveled to North Carolina for Christmas, hoping little TJ would have made an appearance prior to our arrival. He had not.
We arrived late on the evening of Dec. 22nd and there was confusion at the hotel...three rooms booked instead of two and none of them adjoining nor connecting. Not possible when traveling with Zack ( not to mention John and Zack were sharing a suitcase and traipsing through the hotel halls in their skivvies was pretty much out of the question...). After a bit of late night drama and the arrival of someone who actually knew how to use the computer we did get rooms next door to each other...the best that could be done at the moment.
By 11:00pm we were in the rooms, by 1:00am showered and collapsed into our beds. At 3:00am the phone rang and Melissa was in labor. Tom dropped Bella off with Nono and picked me up. By the time we got Melissa into the hospital, all the necessary forms had been filled out, checks made (yup, really labor) and into a room, TJ had nearly arrived, showing up at the fashionable hour of 7:01am. Beautiful baby, great delivery....blissful parents, proud grandparents and thrilled big sister.
They came home on Christmas eve and later John, Thomas and I went to midnight mass at St. Michael the Archangel Chapel. What an amazing place to find on an Army base. I know Ft. Bragg is ginormous but who whould have thought they would have a mini-Cathedral!! So very beautiful...with a traditional cuppola and sides flanked by balconies. Finely wrought stained glass...not the modern stuff with huge pieces of glass, but intricately fitted and leaded pictures of art made in glass. Rare here.
Then Christmas day cooking an abbreviated version...all the basics but with so few people and always too much food, this was a good thing. I didnt feel deprived....rather nice to have a small celebration, completely present to His grace and goodness, seeing the fraility of Jesus in the newborn son of my daughter, enjoying His fruits of the field with family and worshiping in a place that glorifies his Kingship.
We were to leave on the 27th and be home in time to welcome the family who were all coming for New Year. On the 26th it started snowing... In North Carolina snow is not a familiar substance and driving on same presents a challenge for the natives. Serious challenge. Hoo-boy.
Also presented a challenge to the airlines and those, like us, who were supposed to fly the fiendish skys with them. Or not. For two more days we didnt. Not all bad, considering we got to spend two more days with the newbie TJ.
But stressful, knowing 1) Tia, Dave and tribe would arrive on the 27th whether or not we were there and 2) They had no keys : not to either the condo or the house. Tessa and Joseph saved the day by leaving Colorado a day early ( no easy feat when dealing with 2 teens, a tween and an Alaskan Huskey !) and got the condo open and warmed up. Tia stopped by Dad's truck in long term parking at ABQ airport and together Tess and Tia got the house opened and the food Tess brought got refrigerated or frozen ( for 20 mouths, we shop wholesale sizes in everything, including toilet paper...).
Melissa and Tom and tribe and Josh and Liz were supposed to fly in within hours of each other. The McKenna flight was delayed and although they were at the connecting gate prior to departure, their seats had been given away. Josh and Liz called to say they were still at the gate and waiting...delayed too. What blessings that they all still arrived that day and only a few hours late.
For the first time in many years, we were all together and wow how we have grown. Twenty. God bless them each and every one.
We arrived late on the evening of Dec. 22nd and there was confusion at the hotel...three rooms booked instead of two and none of them adjoining nor connecting. Not possible when traveling with Zack ( not to mention John and Zack were sharing a suitcase and traipsing through the hotel halls in their skivvies was pretty much out of the question...). After a bit of late night drama and the arrival of someone who actually knew how to use the computer we did get rooms next door to each other...the best that could be done at the moment.
By 11:00pm we were in the rooms, by 1:00am showered and collapsed into our beds. At 3:00am the phone rang and Melissa was in labor. Tom dropped Bella off with Nono and picked me up. By the time we got Melissa into the hospital, all the necessary forms had been filled out, checks made (yup, really labor) and into a room, TJ had nearly arrived, showing up at the fashionable hour of 7:01am. Beautiful baby, great delivery....blissful parents, proud grandparents and thrilled big sister.
They came home on Christmas eve and later John, Thomas and I went to midnight mass at St. Michael the Archangel Chapel. What an amazing place to find on an Army base. I know Ft. Bragg is ginormous but who whould have thought they would have a mini-Cathedral!! So very beautiful...with a traditional cuppola and sides flanked by balconies. Finely wrought stained glass...not the modern stuff with huge pieces of glass, but intricately fitted and leaded pictures of art made in glass. Rare here.
Then Christmas day cooking an abbreviated version...all the basics but with so few people and always too much food, this was a good thing. I didnt feel deprived....rather nice to have a small celebration, completely present to His grace and goodness, seeing the fraility of Jesus in the newborn son of my daughter, enjoying His fruits of the field with family and worshiping in a place that glorifies his Kingship.
We were to leave on the 27th and be home in time to welcome the family who were all coming for New Year. On the 26th it started snowing... In North Carolina snow is not a familiar substance and driving on same presents a challenge for the natives. Serious challenge. Hoo-boy.
Also presented a challenge to the airlines and those, like us, who were supposed to fly the fiendish skys with them. Or not. For two more days we didnt. Not all bad, considering we got to spend two more days with the newbie TJ.
But stressful, knowing 1) Tia, Dave and tribe would arrive on the 27th whether or not we were there and 2) They had no keys : not to either the condo or the house. Tessa and Joseph saved the day by leaving Colorado a day early ( no easy feat when dealing with 2 teens, a tween and an Alaskan Huskey !) and got the condo open and warmed up. Tia stopped by Dad's truck in long term parking at ABQ airport and together Tess and Tia got the house opened and the food Tess brought got refrigerated or frozen ( for 20 mouths, we shop wholesale sizes in everything, including toilet paper...).
Melissa and Tom and tribe and Josh and Liz were supposed to fly in within hours of each other. The McKenna flight was delayed and although they were at the connecting gate prior to departure, their seats had been given away. Josh and Liz called to say they were still at the gate and waiting...delayed too. What blessings that they all still arrived that day and only a few hours late.
For the first time in many years, we were all together and wow how we have grown. Twenty. God bless them each and every one.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Exciting times
Once all the family arrived safely, and thank goodness not before, the temp dropped....and continued dropping till we hit -16...lower with the wind chill factor. The shower froze and has remained frozen despite Joe's repeated attempts to thaw it with boiling water. The heat in the condo didnt work....the washer broke while full of nasty towels.....the new propane grill, bought especially for New Year's steak, didnt work. As before, the heat in the master bath is non-existant and the floor in there cold enough to ice skate on. Then there was illness....Jonah and Tia, Tessa and Joshua. Fevers and chills...vomiting and vertigo.
Sounds like this should have been a horrible time but amazingly enough, it wasnt. We are all stretched thin and exhausted but it was still wonderful. The littles got to see snow and lots of it. The crazy men got to snowboard and ski and learned fresh powder is hard work. The women cooked and cleaned but there were so many willing hands that it made the work go fast.
Yes, the house is trashed and the laundry overflowing. And I dont care. It was worth it. Next year we repeat but this time Christmas will be here and I will be prepared. Knowing what needs to be done will ( praying now) make the next go-round better.
Family is flying out to around the country and I hope their memories are good, even with the challenges. God bless them each and every one.
Sounds like this should have been a horrible time but amazingly enough, it wasnt. We are all stretched thin and exhausted but it was still wonderful. The littles got to see snow and lots of it. The crazy men got to snowboard and ski and learned fresh powder is hard work. The women cooked and cleaned but there were so many willing hands that it made the work go fast.
Yes, the house is trashed and the laundry overflowing. And I dont care. It was worth it. Next year we repeat but this time Christmas will be here and I will be prepared. Knowing what needs to be done will ( praying now) make the next go-round better.
Family is flying out to around the country and I hope their memories are good, even with the challenges. God bless them each and every one.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Keeping the fire burning
As we start the new year there are so many blessings to be grateful for. More than I can count...but the most important are family. For their health, for their arriving safely, even if there were delays and frustations. They are all here in Angel Fire and safe.
We are well and truly blessed. Thank you Lord for all you have given us.
We are well and truly blessed. Thank you Lord for all you have given us.
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