Thursday, June 17, 2010

Some days its not even worth chewing through the restraints

I guess everyone has those days. This is one for me. Nothing is particularly wrong, but nothing is right either. The move seems overwhelming....too much crap ( still, even after a yard sale ) and not enough time. We have wayyy too much stuff, period. And I am more than willing to purge most of problem. Yes, problem. Too much to think about rationally. Oh well, being rational has never been one of my strong points.
Then there is the house problem. Zack wont be able to stay in his room ( is this a good thing for him?? is he even being considered ?? ) there isnt enough space for Tia's family even though this house is roughly double in size, even though we managed with 5 kids before it was enlarged. How being in a bigger, nicer house is a bad thing I am not sure I understand. Maybe with all the crap going on it would be better for him to be in a group home. I dont need him feeling like he is unwanted or that he is a burden. Maybe the best thing would be for him to just move with us and sell this house. I cannot believe how much trouble this is....this was supposed to be the best for everyone but that INCLUDED Zack. It just makes me sick to my stomach.
Dont know what Melissa is going to do...come for awhile, go back ...stay for long? No one knows. What are we going to do with her stuff in the meantime...she cant afford storage and her stuff cant stay here as I have been told in no uncertain terms. All I do know is that what was supposed to be a good thing suddenly isnt. ( not really sudden I guess since we have been waiting to find out what the hell is going on for months now). Why are we always the last to know???
At the very least I have no doubt any longer that leaving is absolutely the best thing we can do. I am so tired of all of this. I dont care who "gets" the house anymore. Maybe selling is the best option. Or not. I give up. Someone wake me when the nightmare is over.

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