Bathing a rottie "pup"

HA!

Start by preping the bathroom....turning on the space heater on floor so the poor pup doesnt get cold. Rethink said heater and move it to a counter since said pup will probably soak bathroom, thus turning the whole floor into an electrocution risk.

Remove clothes and put on swimsuit. Fill tub. Try and coax 60+ pound baby into bathtub. Drag baby into tub....head and front paws make it, other 50 lbs do not. Soak, lather, rinse, rinse, rinse and repeat. Try and get dog out of tub ( good luck ). Try again. Try again. Try and dry said dog off....again, good luck. Use all 6 towels on floor to dry dog. Now use same towels to dry floor, mirrors, walls and self. Dog is still wet but happy. Try and keep dog out of empty tub. Try and keep dog from turning on faucets, located on outside of tub instead of at either end. Smart dog. Drag semi wet dog OUT of tub and try to re-dry. Again turn off damn faucets. grrrrrr.

Try and catch wet dog. Good luck. Mop floors, dry walls, dry self, repeat. Change to dry clothes. Repeat after said dog leaps with joy into lap. Turn off bleeping FAUCETS, AGAIN.

Next time wait for husband.