Organized ? Well, I try....

One would think that when I am the only human living in this house, that it would be spotless and well organized. It's not.

I do manage to keep the laundry washed, the dishes done and the bed made. Actually, I can gage my mood by making the bed...if I do it well, I am feelin' good. If its a half hearted job, I am probably a bit low on the energy/motivation side. If I look at the bed and know I am not going to make it, the temptation is to climb right back in and pull the covers over my head.

With 5 dogs it is just not possible climb back into bed. Come dawn, whether that be just after 4am in the summer or closer to 7am  in winter, its "going outside to do our business" time. It is  impossible to ignore them. The two males are the worst. Loki ( a pom with a collapsing trachea ) starts coughing and Stryker takes an interest in grooming himself in areas best left unmentioned. The sound of this alone is enough be bring me gagging off the bed at a bound.....

I am not the sort to spend my days polishing and shining and whipping my dustrag at every mote in sight. Truth be told, there are tuffs of dog hair drifting in the corners and dust on the furniture as I type.  I do keep things relatively neat, relatively straight but organized I am not and its not for lack of trying, in a half-hearted but hopeless sort of way.

Every few months I have to reorganize the pantry or the shelves in the garage or my closet and I am the reason they keep getting messy. I know, in my head, that if I put that can of soup on the right shelf, with its brethren, the pantry will stay neater, longer. Doesnt mean I do it and I really don't know why.

It seems like a battle with myself that I am constantly losing. Entropy and his brother chaos are my constant companions and I dont much like them but at least they are familiar. Ah well.....I will continue to try and fight the good fight - or curl up on the couch with a good book.  I am pretty sure the dust will still be there tomorrow but for now, I need to go make that bed.

There is cold, then there is .....

Oh my. When we moved here I thought it was cold in winter. Which, truth be told, it was. What I have discovered, moving into year 3, is that everything is relative.

The first year I kept the house hovering in the 80's and the heating bill was over a thousand buckaroos a month. That first summer never saw me unpack one tank top or pair of shorts. I could have gone the entire year ( had John not been here at least half the time ) and never shaved a leg because nobody, save the dogs, ever saw them.

By year 2 I did unpack shorts and wore tank tops, albiet under other shirts...flip flops (aka "slippas") were still under the radar.

Last summer I actually did wear both shorts and tanks when it was "broiling" here in the low to mid 80's.

What I have discovered is how tiny the comfort zone is for us humans. I have gotten ok with temps in the 30's and 40's ( not in shorts ) but when the temps plunge under freezing, into the minus zone, its not cute. Even the dogs are not ok with it. They, long of coat and warm of body, do their business and  want back into the house.

I do not understand how those people of long ago lived in tents, when the wind is howling and the water freezes on contact with anything. How did they survive in animal skins with only a sputtering fire to warm them ?

I am still in awe of the birds who continue to frequent the feeder, even in the worst weather. I dont know how they manage....but I am grateful and feel blessed to have a furnace that works and a fireplace for the worst days and very glad I am not a bird.

Maybe now I can speak......

The last year has been a hard one. I lost my Dad and I am not the only one who has lost loved ones in this family. I have had a thousand, thousand words to speak and have been speechless. Sometimes, when the heart is wounded, only the Holy Spirit can speak for you, to the Father. Maybe to others, also.

I lost my Dad in 2012. As an only child, whose Mother and Grands have passed, this had been more than difficult. It has been unspeakable. See above.

It has also been a time of the Lord's gifts.....of Jacob ( our first Wyman male, thank you Lord ), of Ezra (thank you again Lord for blessing his mother with health after several frightening days of fever in the hospital) , of Joseph ( after terrifying days of pneumonia and lung leasions in the NICU )...... of SIL Joseph coming home from Afganistan and SIL Thomas from the Phil. We do pray, Lord, that they may be absolved, both in their waking and sleeping, and find peace.

Also in this year, I have read the worst book I have ever read, been blessed with good books, have a son who reads and can forward titles and authors and understands what I do not ( hellooooooo.....serious SCI/FI  vs the light stuff ....)   Wish I could just watch the TEE/VEE butt I cannot. I do NOT want, ever, any kind of "digital" reader. Just send me a book, TYVM.

I do promise to try and articulate what I am thinking and feeling....
Wish me luck,
Janna                                

Fall....is falling all around

This truly is my favorite time of the year. The evenings are cool ( low 40's ) and the days are comfortable. The leaves have only just begun their long slow slide into gold. Odd how only a few leaves on each tree have decided to make the change while their neighbor trees have not. I do wonder what sends the clue that fall is falling when the trees are only feet apart.

The hummingbirds have gone and the chickadees are back, as are the Stellar's Jays and the Magpies ( love them best...amazing tails!!). The chipmunks are stealing birdseed like mad and are willing to risk death-by-Pom to get them.  Our fierce hunter, Bikki, has two "kills" this week...a bird and a chipmunk. She is willing to sit for hours, motionless until the strike. Amazing since she is the most overweight and least likely hunter in the gang. For the record, the Rotties are willing and able to chase but sloooooow. They do bark a mean game though...

It has taken two years to ( sorta, kinda ) acclimate but at least this year I actually busted out the shorts and am wearing them still , albeit with a sweatshirt. After the visit to Hawaii I am THRILLED with this weather and these temps....I had forgotten ( how???) that August in the Aloha state is miserable. Hot, muggy, rainy then steamy. Ackkkkk.

Am I ready for snow ? Not exactly but I won't complain when it comes....unless it stays till April again!!

Processing.......or not

This has been a time of testing for me. I pretty much feel that I have and am failing. I am not processing the " events " of the last few weeks all that well.

My Dad, who had been diagnosed with cancer that was deemed treatable, died suddenly in his sleep in late July. The lady he loved very dearly ( I dont recall ever seeing him as happy as he was with Rita ) was kicked to the curb by step-sibs I have never met. I do not now, nor will I probably ever, have the urge to do so. What comes to mind is cursing them butt I am trying not to do that.

We were expecting grandkidlets # 11 and  #12. I was ( and am ) still in shock about my Dad when we got a call on 9 August that Ezra James had arrived...9 days early. I left NM on the 10th , arriving in Hawaii the same day and Joseph Paul was born the next evening....9 days late on 11 Aug.  We had 9-11 babies but I did not think on that then.  One daughter ended up in the hospital....either shocky or infected ( there was never a clear diagnosis ) without her baby ..Ezra. It was an extremely hard time for his Mom, Dad and sibs since as a newborn he could not be at the hospital ( sick people are there and he could have been infected with any number of horrid things)...and little Joseph, born 2 days later,  had swallowed meconium in utero, resulting in lung lesions, pneumonia and acidotic bloodwork.  For days he was confined to the nursery with IV's and constant heel stabs and could not be picked up. It was a blessing they were at the same hospital.

In truth, I have not processed any of this. Not any of it. John was here in NM, dealing with dogs that drove him crazy while I was gone and left to go see a car ( go, go , little GTO ) in AZ, which he did not buy, only to return and leave for Hawaii.

I have been picking up rocks since I got back to NM. Really. The back "yard" of our house has the most amazing collection of rocks I have ever seen. I think NM grows them. Mostly they are ankle breakers. They hid under snow and you only know you have found one as your ankle goes south when you are heading north. Did I mention that rocks are heavy and do not qualify as "pebbles" if they take two hands to lift them ( honey !!!! )?

I may post about the wonderful weather or the crazy dogs but the things that are weighing so heavy on my soul.....I am simply not processing quite yet.

Prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Rufous...a mean lil hummingbird

You cannot tell by looking at this little guy that he is MEAN.

Gorgeous but  nasty when it comes to other hummingbirds.

\

When he flashes his throat colors he is even more beautiful.......ever tried to catch a hummingbird in flight with a camera that does not "get it" ?

That being said I love them...all of them. You can sit and watch a Mama bird come and literally "fill her belly" and watch said tiny tummy get bigger and bigger.  Bless her lil heart. The Red Devil (male, 'natch ) chases all the other humming away.

Mean

Dominant.

Sigh

Mani/Pedi....Rottie style

As you can see, Schatzi has grown....while Stryker is a pretty big boy at  113.7 lbs, Schatzi is an itty bitty 67.1 lbs. By comparison she is almost a Pom. Ok..not quite but still smaller than Thud. They have killer nails/claws, as is evidenced by the constant scrapes on my legs and arms. Not intentionally mind you....they just dont know they have razors on their paws. Most of the time they are very laid back and calm. Not so much when it comes to clipping said claws.

I tried to do it myself ( snortgigglelaugh) but unfortunately Stryker has decided he prefers NOT to have his nails " done ". No , I do not paint them although with Schatzi ( dare I even admit this ? ) I have been tempted since they do make polish expressly for dogs and she is not the most feminine lil thing. The only time since we got him that Stryker literally scared the snot out of me was the last time I tried to clip his nails.

After the scare I took him to the Vet who managed, just, to get the job done several weeks ago. OK, says I to me, I will take both for Mani/Pedi again, since John is gone and the cost ($12 per dog ) seemed worth not risking life and definately limb to do it myself and the nails are long again.

Let me just mention our Vet is a woman who makes me, at 5'4", look tall. And she is in a walking cast as a horse had the bad manners to step on her tiny little foot, breaking who knows how many bones.

I separated the double leash and sent Stryker into the bowels of hell ( or so one would have thought ) to have the evil, nasty, horrible Vet clip his claws. Have I mentioned that he is a TOTAL wimp ? Wussie ? Ok...just let me say it..he is MALE and has absolutely no tolerance for pain or even the suggestion of it ? Sexist ? You betcha!!!! But all too true.

The exam rooms at the Vet's office have swinging doors...kinda dumb unless you only deal with Poms or Chihuahuas. While Schatzi sat in the waiting area, and her head swung back and forth like Obama reading off a teleprompter, the doors kept flipping open, closed, open, closed and he was crying ( yes, crying ) like a little girl.

Soon thereafter the Vet appeared and informed me that to have Thud's claws clipped, she would have to put him under anesthesia to accomplish the clipping. Wow....really ? Not exactly suprised...I DID try and tell her it was not possible but what do I know.

Schatzi went in after he did and with nary a whimper or whine, got her nails done. Still thinking about the polish but I know I would have to explain to John why her nails are pink or purple and probably wont do it....probably.

Here is the kicker...Stryker will let me FILE his nails ( have you any idea what kind of file or effort that takes....just sayin' ) so for the next several days, since he will only let me file one or two at any given time, I will probably be found sitting on the floor, filing dog nails. I'm thinking he deserves to get HIS nails painted some obnoxious color just for being such a wuss.

Good thing they are sweet and otherwise gentle dogs.