Seriously.....

For the majority of my blogs ( what a weird word...) I do try to keep it light. I do not always succeed. And sometimes, like now, they are intentionally straight.

I have been watching what is going on in Egypt...land of pharohs and sphinx, pyramids and knowledge. And they are fighting for what we fought for in this land over 200 years ago.

I am not stupid...I know the fear is that the Muslim Brotherhood, whose spawn is Al Queda and Hamas....those who see America as the " great satan "...will take over and push the country into what Iran has become...a more dictatorial state than it already is.

That now there will be the power to push Israel "into the sea". That the tepid and tenuous peace that has prevailed in that region for the last three decades will come to a fiery end. That the dictator we know is better than the one we dont.

And yet.....

And yet....arent the people there fighting for what we fought for so long ago? For the right of assembly, the right of free speech, the right to worship ( yes, even this ) as we please....the right of the press...arent they fighting for FREEDOM ????

Arent they fighting for the same thing we fought for ...and are still fighting for??
How can we not support them...and God help this government if they dont.

Signs along the way

When I woke up yesterday morning I had had a dream...the kind that is so real you can smell and taste it. I had been dreaming about Kentucky-fingerlickin'-grease-drippin' Fried Chicken. So real my mouth was watering ( ok...maybe drooling, a petty difference really). I also had an unfinished task....organizing the rest of my closet and drawers...and knew I needed sock boxes. Angel Fire has neither KFC nor sock boxes so a trip to Taos was in the picture and I could have waited another day for the sock boxes but the chicken was an immediate necessity.

On the drive through Taos Canyon there are three signs that I have seen before and that make me chuckle every time I see them and they point to the disparity of a rich county (Taos) and the poorer one where I live ( Colfax ). We dont have signs like this in Colfax county.

The first is a yellow hazard sign with a picture of an elk and the words " Elk Crossing Ahead". I wonder every time I see this sign if the elk know this is where they are supposed to cross. Has someone told them...."ok guys, you cross right here" and if indeed there are so many of them crossing that they warrant their own sign. Never, in all the times over the last 20 years that we have driven this road has there been the slightest sign of an elk but apparently some brain child in Taos decided to spend the money to put a large sign, letting both elk and humans know this is where they should cross. Ok....

The next sign is also a large yellow hazard sign, this time with no words but the picture of a cow. Really? Not a cow to be seen anywhere and no words on the sign, leaving one to wonder if they were just bored in Taos and had extra money and decided "hey a cow sign would be cool" ...out in the middle of nowhere. Ok.....

The one that truly boggles my mind is the third sign. This cautions "Bicycle riders stay right and ride single file". Seriously??? First and foremost we are talking about a road that is a narrow two lane affair...there is no shoulder to pull off on and no place to stop and in many places it is a sheer drop. We drive on the right side of the road in this country. Did the sign makers in Taos have the idea that bicyclists, on this tiny road, would ride on the left, into oncoming traffic?? Or that they would choose the center of the road, which seems to include elk, cows and most frightening of all, Texans?? In reality, if you are riding a bike on this road at all you should probably have a mental health evaluation. You see about as many bicyclists as you do elk and cows.

Someone in Taos has way too much time and money on their hands. At times I do wish we had a McDonalds or KFC here in Angel Fire and the drive is a bit of a drag but at least (do I thank the Taos bureaucrats here??) its entertaining.

In full retreat

I have given it my best shot as far as staying in the master bedroom with John gone. And its not the bedroom itself that presents a problem...its what I shall now refer to as the Ice Palace (IP) aka, the bathroom. This has been an issue since our permanent move in August but I have no patience left and I am tired of literally freezing my okole off.

Although the shower has not frozen again, the temp in the IP is almost a constant 66 degrees, not a good thing in the middle of the night unless one thinks frosty buns are fun ( I am tempted to say cool but the bad pun is too close to reality to be amusing).

So last night I moved upstairs...to a warm bathroom AND a warm bedroom. Oh the joys of the simple things. All the dogs except Tonka ( not the brightest of them...he is a few fries short of a Happy Meal ) adjusted well. I had to shut the door to the master bedroom to keep him out and figured I would do an experiment with the temp in the IP, shutting its door as well. This morning the temp in there was 54 degrees...colder by far than the garage, which has no heat at all. If the garage had a shower.....ok, maybe not.

I think until the heat problem is fixed I will just stay upstairs

How to thaw when its below freezing

Just when you need it most, He gives you another gift....undeserved like all the rest. My heart and soul have been revived by a book that came the day my spirit froze. One Thousand Gifts...A Dare To Live Fully Right Where You Are, by Ann Voskamp. Talk about perfect timing...and isn't His timing always perfect? She is a farmer's wife, mother of six, suprisingly normal and amazingly gifted. Showing how to find joy in the simple things; giving thanks when it doesnt seem possible. Read the book. I finished it and will start it again...a short book in numbered pages...deep as the sea in meaning.

But the weather here is still -12 and I decided to warm the house and warm the body so that all, heart, soul and the physical body would be in sync.

Fire is good...building one will warm you in ways you do not expect. Begin by carrying in 300 lbs of wood ( about 6 big pieces ). Make sure flue is open ( I catch on real quick and only left it closed once ), stack logs in the wrong order, meaning put the big one that will not light on the bottom and the small ones on top. Seriously, I do know better than this and wasnt really thinking about anything but a roaring fire. Cough.
Light gas flame starter and wait. And wait. Move logs around with tongs. This puts out what small flames have managed to catch. Re-light with gas. Wait. Move logs around again, again putting out flames, re-light and wait. Add more wood ( why not at this point??) Wait. Blow on tiny flames until you have hyperventilated. Wait. Yeehaw, fire has started. Go outside to cool off. Try and remember why you wanted a fire in the first place.

Would love to write more but I need to go get more wood, which like snow is heavy but with the added bonus of splinters and spiders. Hot diggety....I'm a country girl. Uh....not.

A river of ice

I don't understand the why of it: one day I am filled with the glory and wonder of this beautiful place and then there are days like this. When the gray, freezing is more on the inside than out. Yes, the driveway is a sheet of ice but it is colder in my soul. Why, when I know of His grace and love, do I feel so abandoned and so alone.

It is not Him. It is me. Never measuring up...never sure of what or who I am. Child of God? Who would want a child like this? Inconsistant and insecure, wondering how a God who creates the universe would bother with me. My belief is not strong enough, sure enough, good enough. Would I be one of those left behind for lack of faith?

On these days the ice in my heart chills all.....and I am bereft, knowing my own failures. How do you find your way back to the sun/Son when Satan's dark shadow fills you? How do I go from a place of surely knowing to knowing nothing except my own shallow pain.

I know this place...I come here more than I would like to admit. A place full of "me"...not a good place. And I know He is here, watching and waiting, patiently loving...I just don't understand why He bothers ( if it were me being god, I doubt I would be so patient ).

I just don't understand.

It is called Angel Fire for a reason

Although it isn't very often, there are times when the sky truly seems to be lit by heavenly flame. The view from the back deck never varies...the basic elements are the same, with sky and mountains, valley and the trees..yet it is never the same. I think at times this is my life...the basic elements are constant yet everyday brings it own gifts.

What an amazing planet we live on....where the hand of God shows itself on a daily basis...if we are quiet enough and still enough to see.

A band of gold

This is what I saw last evening and it struck me in more than one way.....first that it was a band of gold...and usually this is connected to marriage: the band one wears to connect us to another. But it also struck me as the connection we have, through Christ Jesus, from heaven to earth. It was surreal....and very real. How blessed we are to have both a love on this earth, to whom we can promise ourselves and how blessed we are to have a love, not from this earth who has promised Himself to us.